| why we call our partners " Baby " ? || Relationship Analysis |

one of the most striking features of relationships , is that , after a while , if things are going well , one or both partners will almost naturally start to refer to other as BABY  . they might alternatively or in addition , stick a diminutive on to the end of their name i.e . buy them a teddy and late at night speak to them in an unusually high pitched , soothing and sing - songy way .

we all invest a considerable part of our energy and our pride in growing up , in ensuring that we no longer need help in trying up our shoe laces , don't need to be reminded to wrap up warm on cold days and can take care of combing  our own hair . 

in short , we try very hard to be adults . 

but successful grown up relationships demand something rather peculiar of us while we are rewarded for the overall maturity of our characters and way of life . we are also invited - when striving properly to be close to someone  , to access the less developed and more  . 

puerile  sides of us , its belongs to authentic adulthood to be able , at points in an intimate relationship , to curl up like a small child and seek to be  BABIED as one might have been  many decades before , when we wore pyjamas with cartoon prints on them and had a lisp and a  small gap in our front teeth .

 it belongs to health , rather than pathology , to realize how much one might at difficult moments want to be MAMMIED or DADDIED by a partner and to connect for a time with the helpless , frightened dependent child once was and at some level always remain .

sadly though , this selective regression is no easy or charming journey back for those whose childhood involved them in scenes of petrifying suffering and humiliation . for them , growing up has involved a superhuman effort never again to place themselves at the mercy of those who might take advantage of their vulnerabilities .

 returning into imaginative contact with MUMMIES and DADDIES . therefore holds no particular charm , their teddies will not be having a picnic at any time soon .

these bulletproof characters are likely to walk through the world with defense and strength . they will build a heavy shield of irony around their hearts . sarcasm may be their favorite mode of defense and they will have ensured in a thousand ways that no one would ever attempt to ask them , even in their briefest , most light hearted and humorous way to " come to mummy and daddy " for a hug . 

the defensiveness is hugely understandable , but it is not necessarily aligned  with the real requirements  of maturity . true health would mean recovering an easy and informal contact with one's less robust dimensions .it would mean being able to play the child because one knew one was resolutely the adult . it would mean being able to be BABY because one was in no doubt that one had safely overcome the fears and traumas of defenseless past . 

the more difficult the early years have been , the more of our undeveloped must be disavowed the more we must appear grandiose , impregnable and daunting . 

nevertheless we will know we have acceded to genuine adulthood when we can hold out a protective hand to our frail younger self  and reassure them that we will from now on be their reliable guardians and protectors , allow them to visit us for a cuddle and a play whenever they need to .